Monday, February 18, 2013

My apology to my beloved readers

I am a horrible blogger... I haven't written anything in over a week. But I have good reason... I promise.

In case you couldn't tell by my "How did you know you were in love?" post, I am really questioning my relationship right now. Things just haven't been good and I have been unhappy for awhile now. I'm not sure what the source of all of this is. Is it because I really am unhappy? Am I bored? Am I having a quarter-life crisis? Where is this coming from???

I actually stayed with a friend for a few days last week, to just try to get away. And then Valentine's Day was rough. He had flowers delivered to my work. And he made sure they were potted flowers so they "wouldn't die" because I told him that's why I didn't want cut flowers. Needless to say, I cried... at work. Then I came home after, instead of going to my friends, and have been home all weekend.

But I still feel that emptiness.

I don't know what to do.

I'm sitting at home right now, as I type this. But I will probably be going back to my friend's tomorrow.

And besides me not being 100% sure why I am unhappy (I can give you reasons, but I don't know why I am feeling these feelings now... after 3 years)... there are some complications with us breaking up. I can stay with my friend for as long as I want, but pretty much all of the furniture in our house is mine. I would leave him with nothing but an empty house. And as long as I'm staying with her, I can't take all of my stuff... just enough to fill a bedroom. I really can't afford a place of my own... and he can't afford the house by himself (the house we bought together, but is in his name).

I would love to have your advice, because I am at a loss. I'm so confused.

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